25-year-old son refuses to take in half-siblings so they would not be sent to foster care, despite family's claims he is the only one who should step up: ‘It made them angry with me’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Jun 26, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

Lilo once said: 'Ohana means family, and family means no one gets left behind.' However, Lilo never really defined what counts as family, as we all know by now, it is much more than just genetics. 

You may call your parents 'family', but that does not necessarily mean they feel like family to you. You can also have close friends who feel a lot more like family than your actual relatives, so who's to say which one, the real family or the found family, should never get left behind?

The answer to that question is completely individual and differentiates between relationships and family dynamics. Some will do everything for their 'real family', no matter how they feel for all of its members. Others will come to the realization that the only way they can move forward in life is if they do leave their real family behind, and focus on the other family they found along the way.

Whether or not you choose to leave your ohana behind or not, is up to you, which is exactly the lesson the story below attempts to teach.

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  • The guy who wrote this story decided to leave his dad and his family behind, because they never really felt like his ohana. However, when his stepsiblings remained without any parents, this brother had to face his family again, but he was not happy about it.

  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10520451328
    via Зображення користувача Тетяна Стрільчук

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    AITA for not saving half siblings I have no relationship with from foster care?

    My parents marriage broke down 11 years ago. I (now 25m) didn't see my dad once the marriage ended. He reached out a couple of
    via Live_Explanation_218
  • 03
    times but I told him I would never play happy families with him and the woman he cheated with so he left me alone. There were times
    via Live_Explanation_218
  • 04
    members of my extended family encouraged me to change my stance. Some even praised his affair partner and said I'd like her.
    via Live_Explanation_218
  • 05
    I actually dropped the rope with many relatives who were pushing for this. There were others who didn't push or backed off
    via Live_Explanation_218
  • 06
    when I said. But they'd bring up dad occasionally. I knew he had other kids. Never felt a need to meet them.
    via Live_Explanation_218
  • 07
    Last year my dad and his wife were involved in an accident. She d: d immediately and he did a week later. Their kids were with our shared
    via Live_Explanation_218
  • 08
    grandparents but my grandpa has a record and the kids weren't allowed to stay with them. My aunts and uncles didn't
    via Live_Explanation_218
  • 09
    step up. Everyone expected me and my wife (25f) to step up instead. Since we're married and both have stable jobs and we're
    via Live_Explanation_218
  • 10
    young it was seen as the perfect solution. And they passed my name along to the case worker and I was contacted once and I said no which was accepted.
    via Live_Explanation_218
  • 11
    There was backlash from relatives. I blocked many of them. It d d down for a while but last month they learned the kids were in
    via Live_Explanation_218
  • 12
    and out of different homes and had been separated twice in the months they've been in foster care. They visit the kids which is how they learned all this but it
    via Live_Explanation_218
  • 13
    made them angry with me. Even though I have aunts and uncles who never even tried to take them to the best of my knowledge. So I
    via Live_Explanation_218
  • 14
    don't feel bad. A lot of dad's family think I should feel bad. They say I could have, should have, saved the kids from foster care.
    via Live_Explanation_218
  • 15
    Cheezburger Image 10520451584
    via Toa Heftiba

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 16
    I don't believe so and my wife agrees. But after blocking in so many different places and seeing how worked up they are, I wanted to ask online. AITA?
    via Live_Explanation_218
  • 17
    One Violinist7862 NTA. Sounds like you didn't have a relationship with your father and never even met these kids. You have no obligation to take them in, which is a huge life changing event.
    via One_Violinist7862
  • 18
    Live Explanation_218 OP That's right. I never met them or had any contact with them. I have no idea the ages of these kids even or if they're boys, girls or what. We're literal strangers.
    via Live_Explanation_218
  • 19
    piccolo 181 My aunts and uncles didn't step up. "Your own inaction was itself a choice, I'm sorry you are having trouble living with it." NTA.
    via piccolo181
  • 20
    boardguy2 NTA....they aren't your kids or really even your family.
    via boardguy2
  • 21
    Tls-user Why aren't their mother's family taking care of them?
    via Tls-user
  • 22
    Live Explanation_218 OP I don't know the answer to this one.
    via Live_Explanation_218

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family drama aita foster care kids mother siblings reddit story stepsiblings parenting aunt dad family sister Reddit women parents children Father
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